What you SHOULDN'T do with Captain Amelia
by SophieSwag
Summary: Lets just say, if you wanna stay alive, then read this. Its something which can save you from getting killed by the ferious Captain Amelia (Amelia: HEY! I heard that. Me: Oh shut up!). So, R&R, i dont own any of the TP characters i mention in this!
1. Chapter 1

Im gonna make funny ways on how to NOT do certain things with Amelia...

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**What you SHOULDNT do with Amelia.**

1. Take away her catnip.

2. Steal her yarn ball (well, if she has one xD).

3. Make her watch pirates of the carribien.

4. Make her listen to 'Baby' by Justin Bieber on repeat.

5. Spray water on her.

6. Steal her captains hat.

7. Not her uniform either (:o)

8. Break her sextant.

9. Talk to her in pirate.

10. Or flirt with her in pirate... :P

11. Force her to go on a date with Silver.

12. Call her Amy.

13. OR call her Millie.

14. Damage the Legacy.

15. Point at Amelia and yell "Its Catwoman!"

16. Argue with her.

17. Put a litter tray on her desk for a joke.

18. OR cat food.

19. Joke that you heard her purr before.

20. Steal Amelia's words when she is giving orders.

21. Make her sing 'Everytime we touch' in front of Delbert.

22. Force her to strip.

23. DEFINITELY not in front of Delbert.

24. Steal her clothes and make her run outside in her PJ's in front of the whole crew.

25. Make her kiss Jim.

26. OR Silver.

27. Force her to be nice to the crew.

28. Not give her, her tea in the morning.

29. Get her to dress up as a pirate.

30. OR to talk like one.

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Ok, this wasn't VERY long, but if you wanna add in some more, add in as MUCH as you want! See ya!


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, this WHOLE page is from mai bestie Amelia Doppler! Enjoy!

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**What you SHOULDN'T do with Captain Amelia (Pt 2)**

31. Post a video of her running from a spider on youtube.

32. Mop the floor right before she does her big entrance.

33. Give her a toy mouse.

34. Swap her shampoo for hair removal cream and kitty shampoo.

35. Put Kitty liter on her desk.

36. Mix Vodka,Scotch,And catnip in a drink and hand it to her. 37. Make her listen to the pirate song on repeat.

38. Arrange for her to sing at a strip club.

39. Point a red lazer dot on delbert's head.

40. Lock her and jim in the bathroom.

41. Listen to B.E.N. Squeal about christmas.

42. Put her in a Catwoman costume.

43. Put a poster of Long John Silver in her bathroom

44. Take away one of her kids.

45. Trash talk her

46. Put her in a cat suit ( like shego's from kim possible )

47. Substitue her tea for coffee.

48. Give her a pizza with the world's hottest peppers in it.

49. Put a bowl of fresh milk on her desk

50. Put newspaper on the floor of her house and then dump kitty litter over it.

51. Put her son on a leash and walk him around the neighborhood.

52. Kick her in the face with a soccer ball.

53. Have SophieSwag dump water on the floor while I (A.D) drive her crazy and make her chase after me at full speed and watch her slip and fall in the puddle.

54. Prank call her at 2:00 in the morning on Sunday saying Iv'e been watching you.

55. Make her watch Nyan Cat

56. Make her watch ASDF

57. Make her watch Barbie

58. Spike her drink

59. Toss water balloons at her first thing in the morning.

60. Put glue on her chair and she will be forced to stay to the chair

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I LOVE all these their hilarious xD Thanks Nat!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the late update. Here are some more things what you shouldn't do with Captain Amelia!

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**What you SHOULDN'T do with Captain Amelia (Pt 3)**

61. Call her catpain.

62. Get Silver to give her a full body massage (Yup... :o)

63. Say "Here Kitty Kitty Kitty!"

64. Don't point and laugh at Arrow when he falls in the black hole in front of her.

65. Don't sing 'Loving You' by Atomic Kitten when Delbert and Amelia are together.

66. Damage her stateroom.

67. Ask her if shes related to Emma Thompson (-.-).

68. Set her alarm clock to 3am with 'Baby' by JB.

69. Cellotape a tail on her butt.

70. Shove catnip in her face.

71. Write a note to her from Silver.

72. Shave her head when she is asleep/passed out.

73. Start a fight with her.

74. Tell her what a rubbish spacer she is.

75. Ash her if she's related to the Grumpy Cat.

76. Have Amelia Doppler and me force her to drink loads of scotch, and when she's passed out, leave her on the floor.

77. Buy her a collar which has a bell.

78. Not even a FLEA collar!

79. Throw a yarn ball and say "Catch!".

80. Say that she has behaviour like Sam Puckett towards Delbert.

81. Send her to a church to sing 'Starships' in front of the church.

82. Send her to strip in front of the church.

83. When Delbert and Amelia are alone, sing 'Carry You'.

84. Put alcohol in her tea.

85. Put catnip in her food.

86. Dress her in a corset and walk in Delbert's room whilst he's there.

87. Get me and Amelia Doppler to stick an earpiece in her ear and force her to say everything we say.

88. Give her a fake lottery ticket to show that's shes won, and tell her its fake.

89. Ask her if she has HAD IT with Doppler.

90. Or just ask if shes a virgin.

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God, it took me a while to think of these...that's because of the late update! Remember, if you wanna send your own in, send as many as you want! And that will count as a chapter!


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